dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
