The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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