Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Are my feet made of real feet?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
