How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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