that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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