is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
