Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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