dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
