Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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