Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
