How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I woke up under a house in Key West
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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