i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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