don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
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