Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
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