you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize