yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
