there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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