Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
