did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
