We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.