Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize