ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
