So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
