She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
