im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
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I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
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Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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