went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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