So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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