glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
