he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
