The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
