wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
