2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Even my vagina gasped.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
