I wish I could punch you in the face.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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