By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
