im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
