So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Cover your peen. We're going out.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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