please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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