Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
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i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
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Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize