I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
