wake up i wanna do it froggy style
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
