is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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