We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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