Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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