i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
