I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
