worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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