Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
