I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
