That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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