Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Its about making memories worth repressing
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
