so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
please come you make the beer taste better
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
