Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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