need another drink. this is the easiest way
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
