His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
