am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
