No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
