If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
