My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
i believe in u and ur pee
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
