Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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