Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
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When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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