I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
