I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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