This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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