Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
