Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
